For the first time in my career as I could remember it, I felt like I’d reached a goalpost before moving it.
2025 opened with a huge accomplishment for me: Debuting my collection at my first fine jewelry trade show. I met so many incredible people, and spent a week immersed in creativity, community, and all the best facets (pun intended) of our industry.
But perhaps even more moving than that, was the realization that for the first time in my career as I could remember it, I felt like I’d reached a goalpost before moving it.
I felt like I could pause, and recognize an achievement, and enjoy the fullness and joy of this thing I’d busted-ass for so long to create. Take my nose off the grindstone long enough to really look around at what I’d achieved.
I’d been working towards this goal for as long as I could remember. Weekends, evenings, early mornings — letting my work intertwine with my identity so tightly that– like ivy– it began to cover me entirely. I called it "the hustle™" , laughed it off as just the artist’s lot. I knew, at least on paper, that one should never conflate self-worth with productivity. But deep down, some part of me guiltily hoarded the belief that I would earn rest and balance only once I scaled this mountain.
And, scale it I did. And for the first time, surprising myself most of all, I chose to rest. I let myself feel pride instead of moving insatiably on to the next goal. When I returned home, I read books, I baked, I painted — I fed my inner-child-creative every craft and story I "hadn’t had time for” before. I DM-ed and cheered-on the new friends I'd made in Tucson, and felt so much more connected to my community and my time. I felt... right.
As I let myself feel into this new routine, I noticed something shift: I noticed feeling so much more secure in my identity, in my confidence as a creative. Like moving from creative fight-or-flight to… something calmer, and more whole.
And it seems a bit silly, that this feeling of pride and calm isn’t something I’d anticipated. That the idea of rest was so foreign to me that it formed a novel experience of its own. (Hey, I'm learning to human).
Allowing myself this pause, this pride, has been so healing. It's given me a new perspective, one where I can see what life can look like with work, life, rest and creativity all in balance. And now that I know it's possible, I'm defending that balance fiercely.
I wish I could say I've fully learned my lesson -- Shout my proclamation of self worth and commit to never go back to overworking and anxiety. I know this isn't that. But it was a big step for me, and for that, I’m proud.
Leave a comment